• Study the face of the person speaking to you. His emotions will be reflected in his facial expressions.
• Do more than establish eye contact. Do not fiddle with paperwork or keep checking your watch or reaching for your cell phone. Communicate with your body language that you desire to pay attention.
• Do not engage in intent “staring,” this will make you and the speaker feel weird and uncomfortable, but do pay attention with your body language, maintain an attentive posture.
• Nod, or give small verbal cues such as “I see,” “Uh-huh,” “Got it” to let the speaker know you are tracking with her.
• Lean in toward the person speaking to you so that ambient noise doesn’t dilute his/her message.
• If you are counseling someone or you are discussing an important project, set the stage for an important conversation by arranging comfortable chairs within close proximity to each other. You want to be visibly aligned with one another.
• Keep an open posture, avoid crossing your arms or legs to indicate that you are closed to the information coming in.
• If you are itching to interrupt someone, it will show in your body language.When the situation calls for it,  listen to understand rather than to respond.
• You’ll learn more and you’ll build a stronger rapport by signaling your desire to wait out even a loquacious speaker.

Moving beyond mere eye contact can seriously improve the bond between you and your customers and colleagues.

Here is a sample thank you note. Read through and then check out my tips below.

“Dear Uncle Tom,

It meant the world to us to have you celebrate the holidays with our family. Your kind heart and great sense of humor make our gatherings extra special. We all enjoyed the delicious home made cookies you brought for dessert. No one has the knack for baking up those treats like you do. The jar of pepper jelly was a great gift that we’ll all enjoy. Thanks, Uncle Tom, for your loving heart and generosity of spirit. We all look forward to seeing you again soon. Happy New Year!

Affectionately,”

• Never begin a thank you note with the words, “Thank you for the…” It sounds canned and insincere. Instead acknowledge the GIVER first and the gift later on in your note.
• Whether it’s a flashy, expensive gadget or a humble jar of pepper jelly, let the giver know you appreciate his/her thoughtfulness.
• Emphasize the positive personal traits of the giver in your note. A cheerful laugh? Willingness to mentor you or lend a hand? An air of calm? Jot it down.
• Close on a positive note, letting the giver know how much you value him or her.

Fewer and fewer people are taking the time to acknowledge the generosity of others by writing a simple note of thanks. Choose to be thoughtful and take  time for this simple act of gratitude.

The mission of the folks at BDA is “to enlist the U.S. business community in actions to improve the standing of Americans in the world with the goal of once again seeing America as admired as global leader and respected as a courier of progress and prosperity for all people.”

Reinhard asserts that Americans are disliked partly because of our collective personality which (survey) respondents around the world described as “arrogant, loud, ignorant and totally self-absorbed.” Business for Diplomatic Action has published a short pamphlet with sixteen tips on relating better to colleagues overseas. More than 600 companies have already ordered the information and have distributed it to their employees.

American business people, particularly those who do a lot of international travel, would do well to click onto Reinhard’s site.

It is important to “RSVP” because the person who has invited you to a special gathering needs to know how much food to prepare, how many places to set at the table, who will be attending and with whom. If you’ve ever given a dinner party, you know how important it is to know this information. It’s the difference between putting  a 5 pound roast or a couple of big turkeys in the oven.

A selfish little trend has taken root over the past several years. Folks are waiting until the eleventh hour to alert their friends of their decision to accept or decline an invitation, often because they are waiting to see if “some better offer” comes along.  To borrow from the public service ad, “Friends don’t let friends know at the last minute.” The whole key to etiquette is treating others as you wish to be treated. If you’d feel uncomfortable hosting a party with no idea of who may be coming or whom they will be bringing with them, you can bet your friend/colleague/family member will feel the same way.

Corporate event, bridal shower, family reunion or Aunt Minnie’s birthday–the occasion isn’t what drives the train. You need to RSVP with a thumbs up or with regrets no matter. It’s the thoughtful thing to do and it will preserve your friendship and your friend’s sanity.

Now, pick up a phone and let _____ know if you’ll be attending _____.  You’re too nice to leave someone twisting at the top of a flagpole, aren’t you?

As in most other situations in life, honesty is the best policy. Let’s script your response because your answer matters…a lot

• Instead of boo-hooing a sob story about your job loss, say, “Well if I had met you several months ago, I would have told you I was a _____(doctor, lawyer, Indian Chief), but, today, my job is looking for a new job.”
• Don’t begin to recite your resume. Attune yourself to the other party’s response. Does she express empathy? Is he looking at you pitifully? Are these people problem solvers and curious to know what your skill set and experience may be?
• If you discover you are talking to someone who launches into a Pity Party, steer the conversation in another direction. The last thing you need is to feel defeated and sorrowful.
• If you engage someone who is actively interested in your plight and expresses a desire to learn more about your work experience, confidently recount your expertise being careful not to drone on indefinitely.
• If the other party believes he can help you network, ask if you may make a private appointment, (take her to a diner, take him out for coffee), to discuss things further.
• Offer genuine appreciation for his concern and willingness to aid your search for new employment.
• Project an upbeat, positive demeanor. If you send off a desperate vibe, most folks will run in another direction. Tell yourself, “It’s only a matter of time before something good pops up for me.” (I firmly believe you call positive or negative vibes into your life based on your attitude).
• Get a phone number or some other contact information and FOLLOW UP.

What might have been an awkward interchange may become a productive step in acquiring new employment. You aren’t a pariah, you were a victim of a numbers game and all of us are aware that the hatchet could land on anyone’s neck–“There but for the grace of God…”

Shoulders back, head high, goal in sight. Good luck!

• Find out about your prospect in advance of calling. It is assumed that you know about the businesses you are hoping to partner with and phoning without doing your homework first is a waste of time.
• Write a short script before you make your call. Rehearse the script. Yes, the call may deviate from what you’ve imagined, but, you’ll feel more calm and in control at the onset of the conversation.
• State  your first and last name and the reason for your phone call. No rambling, no behaving as if you have dialed up an old friend. Be friendly and professional and always be respectful of the prospect’s time.
• Know your stuff. Be able to articulate what benefit YOU bring to the client. Why should she work with YOU?
• Don’t blab on ad nauseaum. Make the call short and productive unless the prospect leads you into a more lengthy conversation.
• Communicate confidence. Just as in social relationships, a whiff of desperation or neediness is a huge turn off.
• Express appreciation for giving you the chance to talk about your business. Be sure to follow up with an email or an old fashioned letter summarizing your conversation and providing all of your contact information.

You can do this! Absolutely, you can do this!